Top 10 Video Game Cliches

[King Zarthius]

Top 10 Video Game Cliches



10. Super Solider It seems to be that every 3D game has some form of a Super Solider that can destroy entire worlds on their own and dominate beasts that are 10 sizes its feet; not that we don’t like a good David and Goliath story once in awhile, but enough of the Super Soldiers. A salient example of the super solider is in Halo where “you are a genetically altered , elite super solider”. Does “elite” really need to be stated in Halo? Isn’t it already implied by every 3D shooter game before it and by the conjoining adjective “Super”? Why can’t the protagonists in these games be something else like a car mechanic or a garbage man? Where is the parody in modern games like these?
9. Space Marines
Along with Super Soldiers, there are too many games with Space Marines. Starcraft and the Warhammer 40K games are perfect examples. How about Space Monkeys? How about Space astronauts? Now there’s an idea. Play a game as a space astronaut who has to learn fighting skills while landing on a planet for the first time. Yes. we get it though; there are space marines that have machine guns, who wear body suits that are overly inflated and speak like gruffly bearded commandos. Move on to something else. This shit gets boring quick.
8. A Chosen One
How many RPG’s and adventure games have you played in your life where you are first recognized as “The Chosen One”. What the fuck is with all this savior syndrome in these games? Fuck it, I don’t want to be the chosen one. I want to be the least chosen one for the mission. I want the fairy tale God to come down in the beginning of the game and say “You’re the least chosen one, but yet you have to save the world”. This is why Mario was so innovative. Whoever thought to make a plumber “the chosen one” was an utter genius. Out of all the championed possibilities of being a chosen one, Nintendo decided to use a plumber. No wonder why we love Nintendo so much.
7. The Hero Starts the Game in Bed
How many video games are there where the teenage male lead will begin the first day of the game in bed oversleeping, being woken up by his mother, and being reminded that he’s slept in so late he missed meeting his girlfriend. Our much beloved Zelda Link To the Past follows the same kind of trend (well not the girlfriend part), as does Chrono Trigger. For 3 or 4 games, starting the game out in bed rule is fine, but at some point I want the developer to explain why the fuck the guy I’m supposed to be controlling cant fucking wake up except when he needs to save the world and a woman.
6. Heroe’s Town gets destroyed
What is the singular most common reason why a hero in a video game has to go on a quest for vengeance? It’s because his town gets destroyed. This idea has been run to the ground in the adventure and RPG mediums. Why can’t there be different reasons for a hero leaving a town to get vengeance? How about a brutal taxation system by a fascist or monarchical government? What about the bad guy’s building a dam near the town so everyone in the town becomes malnourished without food? How fun would that be? You have to go out and first destroy a dam, then chase around the nefarious bastards who came up with this actually very clever idea.
5. Single Parent Rule
Can anyone name an RPG where the RPG characters have both of their parents? These RPG’s many times take place in antiquated ages so you weren’t able to get divorced. Oh yeah, the father died in a battle with a villain you have to eventually face, or the mother was captured by the same villainous enemy. This idea has been over-done. Oh yeah, something happens to the parent in the beginning of the game which frees the protagonist from any familial responsibility. Snore fest. Let’s see some creativity. Why doesn’t the one parent gain an ambition to be an Olympic runner and tell their child that they can’t be with them anymore because they need to practice marathon running. This will really get the child motivated to do some destruction!
4. All Prophecies Come True During the Course of the Game
The cliche is in almost every adventure game ever made for the video game medium. All legends are 100% accurate that are told throughout the game. Not only that, but all the rumors in these games are also 100% factual. All prophecies come true too. Forget the fact that legends and prophecies are founded on the mystery of them possibly not coming true. They always come true in any adventure game with a prophet wanting to propheteer, and the prophecy usually comes true immediately, like right when you leave his candle lighten cave.
3. WW2 Games
How many wars have their been in the history of the world? Anyone who can count the exact amount will get a free Old-Wizard T-shirt. For the TV (History Channel), movie and video game medium though, there is only one war. That is good ol’ World War 2. Sure, we understand the importance of World War 2. We understand how The United States became the most powerful country in the world afterwards, but do we really have to keep rehashing this war in every new war themed video game that gets released? What about the Great Northern War, or even the subtle forays into Bosnia and Cambodia? And why the fuck does every guy in your squad have to have a West Virginian accent smoking some bullshit cigarette?
2. Food that completely fills your energy
Picture this; you’re about to die and are gasping for your final breath. You’re rushed to the emergency room, and what does the doctor give you? A roasted chicken. You eat the chicken and walk out as if nothing happened. Could you imagine what would happen in the real world if all your physical and mental ailments could be solved by a piece of chicken? What would happen to modern medicine? All modern doctors would have to become nutritionists, or at least know how to use an oven. From Gauntlet to Castlevania, the most inane pieces of food are able to make you feel better. There’s gushing blood coming out of your arm from being attacked by a warrior or a skeleton, and somehow a piece of chicken heals it. Are we just supposed to assume they used the roasted chicken as a bandage?
1. Saving a Princess
Don’t get me wrong, some of my favorite games involve saving a princess. Super Mario 1 and 3, Super Mario World, The Legend of Zelda a Link to the Past, and even more recently Super Mario Galaxy; but why does it always have to be a princess? Surely the imagination can conjure up a better quest than a damsel in distress. How are princesses always being kidnapped anyway? Don’t these kingdoms have any security? And why are they always being kidnapped anyway? Is it because they’re all virgins? Do the nefarious bosses of these games want to keep the princesses virgins for a reason? Are there other reasons that the villains kidnap the princess besides obvious sexual reasons? We may never know the answers to these question, but as long as there are new video games being made, its a sure bet that more princesses will be kidnapped.

Source

[Fred0708]

Haha, those are great.

There are too many Princesses getting kidnapped.. Stupid video game kidnappers these days....

[solbaddguy]

Oh wow, I would have to agree with you on all ten. I ESPECIALLY agree with the "Hero starts out in a bed" one. I remember playing a lot of older games and that's how they started out, kind of funny. I want them to make a game where they have a prophecy NOT come true and bad things happen, just for the heck of it. ^^

[Kyon]

These are great and so true. The one with the 1 parent thing was hilarious.

[Asassinator X]

10 & 9: If there's a space theme game those are there
8: OK, Who's the REAL "Chosen One"?
7: EarthBound/Mother and Pokemon ALWAYS starts in bed
3: WAY too many WWII games. It's 2008 and close to 2009, not around the 1960's. It's way better if it's modern or future war games.
2: Lol If this is true, chicken is the source to cure every deadly diseases.
1: Why is every princess in any game are always kidnapped. Dumb broads... get some type of defense not some group of Toads or something stupid like that.

[LiquidSnake]

These are utterly and completely true, this is the first time I've ever entirely agreed with a "10 Reasons/Things" list O_o

I think the "Food that completely restores health" is alright though, video games can't be entirely realistic y'know? Name one game where you're (drastically) affected by where you're hit? Like in Snake Eater, you can kinda heal things that happen in different parts of your body, but it doesn't dramatically affect your gameplay, I mean what's more realistic eating chicken that restores all your health, or finding a green health orb/medkit on the floor? Different games use different things, but in essence it's the same thing.

For example, Resident Evil or Silent Hill.

Ugh!! Oh no I've been mauled by zombie dogs five times, I'm bleeding!!! AH!!! *searches pocket* First... aid.. spray!!! *uses and heals all wounds*. Ah, good ol' first aid spray!

The space one's a good one though, I mean in Dead Space you play as a janitor or an engineer (yeah, how do you compare a janitor with an engineer, well i forgot which heheh), and that's a great premise for a character.

[Misterpwnage]

This list is Epic Win. I wasn't too keen on number 9 though, it's there but it's only in new-gen games. I felt another cliche could've taken that one, like the backstabbing friend cliche >_>


Other than that, Epic Win.

[PstlP]

so true those are so awsome

[Unfraggable1]

I'm suprised they forgot the whole "Find the 7 Magical Items of Something" cliche.

[mjwild89]

I agree with every one of these but I like being a chosen one, I like rescuing damsels or innocents, and I like the unrealistic effects of ordinary food healing every bit of you.

[Fred0708]

Originally Posted by mjwild89

I agree with every one of these but I like being a chosen one, I like rescuing damsels or innocents, and I like the unrealistic effects of ordinary food healing every bit of you.

O RLY? What if that food was poisoned? Would the poison be amplified, seeing as the healing abilities are amplified?

[Zezima]

Saving a Princess? Is this a joke or something?